Embracing Difficult Conversations

After reviewing several studies around managers' skill at holding difficult conversations and having lived through it both as a manager and a human resources professional, it's evident that at least a quarter of leaders avoid them.  The studies further point to the fact that the managers who are having these conversations think they are more skilled at them than they actually are.  

They're called difficult for a reason.  We worry about how the person will react, it's human nature to not want to hurt someone's feelings, and we want everyone to like us.

Fostering meaningful relationships, building trust, and establishing context with direct reports daily can alleviate the emotional toll when these conversations become necessary.

Here's a framework to help you have a healthy and productive difficult conversation:

• Practice - Outline what you want to say before the actual conversation. If possible role play with your manager or a mentor.

• Specify - Get right to the point at the start of the conversation. "We are here to discuss..." Don't apologize or make small talk. Possibly start with, "lately I've noticed that."

• Facts not Feelings - Stick to the facts, and don't serve them a sandwich (don't start and end with positive feedback). That confuses the message and your employee won't be clear on what they need to correct.

• Listen - Actively listen to their point of view. Show empathy. Potentially dialogue about the path forward

• Align - Ensure alignment on expected future behavior.  "In the future, can you..."

• Preserve the Relationship - Show respect throughout the conversation.  End with, "I'm saying this because I care."

Embracing difficult conversations as opportunities for growth and development not only strengthens leadership skills but also fosters a culture of open communication and continuous improvement. #LeadershipDevelopment #DifficultConversations #HRInsights